If you truly want to learn how to survive the affair and get past your partner’s cheating, I can help you. Read this page immediately!
When I heard that my wife was having an affair, it was like someone had just hit me on the head with a baseball bat, and I definitely didn’t see it coming. I felt numb and paralyzed. I couldn’t even feel my body. I remember thinking “How could this be? This is the person I trusted with my life! She’s cheating on me?‼! She’s sleeping with somebody else? This can’t be happening. I’m going to wake up from this nightmare…”
Your experience and mine may be very similar. You’re probably feeling like your world got completely blown to pieces, or someone just stuck a knife in your back. I nearly lost my mind.
“…Life After The Affair is a must read for anyone who has been in, will be in, or is presently in a relationship – marriage or not.
The book provides all the ingredients and areas we all must invest in ourselves to live happy, fulfilling lives. Life is too short not to pay attention! I recommend this book to my patients.”
Therapist (Marital, Family and Individual) Expert in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, and Anxiety Disorders
You could be the absolute best spouse you can be, year in and year out, BUT you can still be cheated on.
I know this shouldn’t be true, but it is. The fact is – being a good partner in a relationship today has more to do with understanding how accountable both partners really are, AND constantly investing your time and heart to keep the relationship open, and honest, but also interesting. Blind trust doesn’t work.
For years I ignored this concept. I thought my dedication and honesty as a good husband gave me permission to trust my spouse 100%, no questions asked. I never felt threatened and never questioned anything – I had complete trust and confidence, and why shouldn’t I? We had exchanged vows…until death do us part.
Discovering that your spouse is having or had an affair is one of the most painful things you’ll ever feel. It’s enough to drive you into uncontrollable rage, sadness, denial, and a feeling of worthlessness. You’ll find yourself going in and out of numbness, shock, grief, anger, and even despair.
But, you must listen to what I’m going to tell you, and listen very carefully. This is worth more than most things you’ll ever read in any book… and it will be a huge step in your process to recovery – NEVER blame yourself for what happened. Never!
Yes, there are two people in your relationship (it takes two to tango, as the saying goes), and there may be areas that need some work, but you certainly did not push your spouse into an affair. No matter what you may be feeling or might have been told, your partner chose to cheat on you and you certainly were not a part of that decision. You’re not the cause!
You feel hurt, betrayed, and may be feeling like you can’t get beyond this, and happiness looks like a distant dream. Who ever thought you could really have your heart broken? Because it really does feel like a break inside. My mind even played tricks on me. I had thoughts of rage toward my wife and her lover. Yes, it scared me to have these thoughts, but they were real.
Someone once said to me “…time heals all wounds”. Honestly, I was really annoyed by that comment because I felt like my insides had been torn to shreds, and Hallmark quotes of this kind may be true, but did nothing to help me at that time. My wife’s affair and my deep sadness was all I could think about. I needed to find a way to start feeling better and I didn’t want to wait forever for “time” to do its healing.
I couldn’t allow my emotions to run wild anymore. Every single day I just felt like I was just floating adrift and lost. So, I read every book and listened to every audio program I could get my hands on, and I even started to go to counseling.
I’m not going to lie to you. There are a lot of books and advice out there, some good, and some not worth the time and the expense. And, you can waste a lot of money and time trying and searching for much needed help and guidance, only to get more frustrated and lost than you were before.
You can find yourself turning in ten directions trying to find help…I know I did. I felt overwhelmed and discouraged. And everyone around me (friends and family) was all too happy to give me plenty of “advice” on what I should be doing. Most of the advice was not good at all, but at the time I didn’t know…
I know how your heart feels right now, I was there and somehow… at that time, I just knew I needed to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I was tired of not feeling alive, and I desperately wanted to stop the cycle of sadness and resentment. Some mornings I barely had the desire to get out of bed. There had to be a way or a method to turn my life around. So, I searched high and low to find such a system, but came up short. I knew that there was only one thing I could do to reach a simple approach to get my life on track – Take control and assume responsibility for my recovery.
Then something amazing happened. I started to follow some (really) simple steps one day, and it started to work – the heaviness I was feeling every day started to lift… Read more…